Becky Dessa

Becky Dessa

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Tricks For Coping With Anxiety

Anxiety is a tough thing to navigate.

It affects everyone so differently and on so many different levels. For this reason I truly do think it’s nearly impossible to know what a person is really going through at any given time. I have struggled with anxiety, people pleasing syndrome, depression and many other things just like so many of us have. If you can relate to these feelings, my heart aches for you. It’s a hard thing to go through and even tougher to WORK through. I’ve been seeing my therapist regularly and reading tons of self help books. This has helped me realize the true underlying cause of my anxiety and other various mental struggles, which has made a world of a difference in working through it when I feel it coming on.

Anxiety, and whatever else you may be struggling with is a demon not easily battled.

Nobody’s perfect, and we all have our struggles! I think it’s important to realize that having mental struggles is part of the human condition. How we react to these struggles is really what makes or breaks how easily we can overcome it. It’s always easier said than done, and ALWAYS looks easier when you’re on the outside looking in. Anxiety, and whatever else you may be struggling with is a demon not easily battled and I can say from experience, its exhausting, daunting and frustrating all at the same time.

Things I do when when these feelings try to take over:

The keyword for me, here is “tries”. I’ve learned through years of practice and so much help from my therapist that acknowledging the fact that these feelings are just that – feelings, makes a huge difference. I start by recognizing that I am feeling worried, overwhelmingly sad, or whatever the case may be. I tell myself “okay, I’m having this feeling, here it is and I won’t let it control me”. Then I personify it, too. Something I learned from a favorite book of mine, The Untethered Soul.

I know it may seem strange, but this really helps. That voice in your head that is thrashing at you with worries or unkind words, or whatever it is that day. Make it into a human being who is actually talking to you. How long would you stay around someone who spoke to you like that? My bet is not long at all. Ask yourself: “whose voice is this?”. Like really ask – think long and hard. “Who made this narrative for me?”. If it was indeed you (and not a parents voice or someone else), what’s stopping you from changing it completely? You wrote the narrative. Or at the very least, someone you know wrote it for you. Why can’t you rewrite it? What will happen if you tell that narrative to suck it because you’re replacing it with one you love?

Ask yourself: “whose voice is this?”. Like really ask – think long and hard.

You are worthy of healthy thoughts and a happy life. So many of us struggle with anxiety, and it’s such a different experience for every single one of us. I just need to you know that you are so important and loved. You are an amazing, incredible creation and you have value and importance in the most immense sense of the word. I want to share some day to day things I do when I know I’m feeling anxious or sad or a mixture of both. Below are things I do in my every day life to keep myself feeling focused, happy and healthy.

Tips and tricks for when you’re feeling anxious

  1. Nourish your body. How much water have you drank today? Have you eaten full, healthy meals and remembered that coffee isn’t a food group? (I have done that WAY too many times!). Listen to your body and eat healthy meals. When I’m eating like trash, I feel like trash.
  2. Get up, make your bed and tidy your living space. While your at it, tidy your work space too. Making my bed helps me feel less inclined to hop right back in. If i’m not careful, I’ll lay around all day and my body responds by making me feel more tired, sleepy and sad.
  3. Have you showered, brushed your teeth and put on your favorite lotion? Get that body squeaky clean and maybe even do your hair or make up if you feel like it!
  4. Put the cell phone down. No, seriously. Put her down and leave her alone. Cell phone? For the next hour or two, (or even longer!) we don’t know her. Pick up a pen and journal what you’re feeling. Self reflect on how your day started. Just get those feelings out! And As a bonus, these notes are great things to bring to your therapist because sometimes its easy to forget what you were feeling a week ago. If you don’t have a therapist, there are so many online resources that are totally free!
  5. Exercise. It doesn’t have to be intense. It doesn’t have to be some crazy workout! I go for walks if I don’t feel like working out. I’ll put in a self help podcast that I’m feeling and I walk outside and make the next hour dedicated to me, myself and I. I get outside, get my body moving and I will say that it makes me feel better 100% of the time.
  6. Slow the heck down! You don’t have to do it all and be everything for everyone. Respect your own boundaries and say no to a plan if you don’t mentally have the capacity for it. It is OK! Actually, it is NECESSARY! If you are giving all your energy to work, friends, love, and whatever else – when are you giving energy to just you? Even if it’s a quick 20 minutes of quiet, and doing something that makes you really really feel great. You deserve that time more than anyone else in your life. Setting boundaries for yourself is healthy and so important.

What do you do that helps you when you’re feeling anxious, or any other feelings? Let me know in the comments below, I’d love to hear from you!

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Comments

  2. adultingwithpam says

    Love this post! I suffer with anxiety too and I love reading about how others find tricks to combat the feeling. I love your style of writing, as well! “Cell phone? For the next few minutes we don’t know her!” lol so cute!

    Reply

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